Farewell, red sun repost
by Ria Sakazaki
Summary: As they unravel the mysteries behind the smiles of Hanamichi, the latter was trap in a world of grief, confusion, repression and anger. As every word they read slice through their hearts, the missing will be as it is…missing. His one final entry will be t
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Hi guys! It's been a long time since I updated or rather came up with another story…hehehehehehehehe! I was inspired to right an angst fic for my beloved Hanamichi. Please review! Arigatou gozaimashites!

"" are for dialogs and '' are for thoughts and texts in italics are flashbacks.

"Haruko…I"

"What is it, Hanamichi-kun?" Haruko asked. She was dragged away from everybody by Hanamichi. 'Is he ok?' she added silently while eyeing the redhead. There was a sudden rustle in the bushes nearby. "This is so familiar." Yohei murmured. "You wanna bet she's gonna be the 51st?" Takamiya asked them. They were watching what would happen next.

"Daijoubu desu ka, Hanamichi-kun?" Haruko asked. The tension between them is growing.

"Haruko-san, ano…." Hanamichi started. 'Shit! I better tell her now!' he added silently.

"Yes?" Haruko prompted.

"I…" Hanamichi stammered.

"This is it!" Oukusu giggled while clutching his popper,

"The practice will start soon…" Haruko told him.

"I like you Haruko-san. I would like you to be my girlfriend."

"N-nani!" Haruko was taken aback.

"I said I want you to be my girlfriend. Please say yes." Hanamichi took her hand and pleaded.

'I can't. I-I love Rukawa.' Haruko mused.

"Please say yes, Haruko.' Hanamichi pleaded. Yohei eyed his best friend with sympathy. "Ready?" Noma asked them.

" Haruko-san?" Hanamichi asked, his voice filled with hope but Haruko's eyes averted from his gaze.

"Gomen nasai, Hanamichi-kun. I-I'm in love with someone else." Haruko said, still not looking at the redhead. Life drained from the redhead's body. He suddenly let go of Haruko's hand and failed to hear anything, not even the sound of cheering from his so-called friends nor the apologies from Haruko. His heart was thumping so hard and so fast that he thought his heart would explode from the pain. He held his head up and looked straight into Haruko's eyes. 'He's changed." Haruko though when she saw Hanamichi's face slowly broke into a smile.

"It's ok, Akagi-san. I'm so sorry for wasting your time like this." Hanamichi said before walking away. This surprised the gundan. "Nani! No thunderclaps? No lightning?" Takamiya asked. "No tears and no songs?" Noma added. Yohei said nothing. He just followed his friend with his gaze.

"Gomen nasai, Yohei." Haruko muttered.

_Few hours later…_

"Hey, you noticed how quiet the gym is?" Mitsui asked Ryota. The practice raged on as usual with everyone boosted up with energy. Well except for one thing, Hanamichi was quiet, attentive and obedient all afternoon. It seems like a whole new Hanamichi was there. "I have to know what's bothering him." Ayako said firmly to herself.

"Akagi, did you notice that Sakuragi is a bit too helpful today?" Kogure asked their captain. "I don't know Kogure. He must've hit his head or something." Akagi replied while eyeing the redhead who was doing his basic training in dribbling without complains. "Yep, something's wrong with him." Akagi concluded. Rukawa was shifting his gaze from Hanamichi to Haruko who was unable to cheer for the redhead for the first time.

'It'll be over in a few minutes, Michi. You will be home, away from these people who don't like you.' This is the same thing that's been going over and over inside Hanamichi's head all throughout the practice.

"Hey, you think he's gonna be ok?" Takamiya asked Yohei. The brunette didn't answer.

"Ok team, practice is over!" Akagi barked and the rest of the team came towards him. "Don't be late tomorrow and Sakuragi, Ueksa, don't forget to clean!" he added. Hanamichi nodded silently before turning around to get to the supplies' cabinet. Ryota caught up with him. "What's up with you today? You showed up and acted like Rukawa." The smaller player asked worriedly. "Daijoubu desu ka, Ryota-sempai." Hanamichi told him before taking the mop and disappeared. "So what's wrong with him?" Mitsui asked Ryota. "You'll never believe what just happened. " Ryota said. "What?" Mitsui asked. "He called me Ryota-sempai." The small point guard said while staring at Hanamichi.

'In a few minutes I'll be home…safe within out room and Hana will be there to comfort me.' Hanamichi's head is full of these thoughts, not knowing that he's unconsciously created a barrier between him and the people around.

"Gomen nasai, Hanamichi." Haruko eyed the redhead sadly. "Now something's definitely up." Rukawa concluded when he saw this.

A/N: so what do you think? Please review! Thanks!


	2. gone

A/N: hey guys! How are you? Well, Hanamichi's defense mechanism is quiet evident in this chap. There is something about him that you should know. Please review!

"" are for dialogs and '' are for thoughts and texts in italics are for flashbacks and memories.

"Are you sure it's ok to leave him alone?" Takamiya asked. They are walking home without the redhead. "Do you want a head butt?" Noma asked him. "Well, no." the fat boy answered. "Then it's ok to leave him alone." Nome replied. Yohei just sighed for the sixth time that afternoon.

_Meanwhile…_

"I'm going home now, Sakuragi." Ueksa told him. "Ok." Hanamichi replied. The redhead was left alone inside the locker room. He finally stood up and began emptying his locker. "What are you doing, Sakuragi?" somebody spoke. Hanamichi turned his head to see their old coach standing by the doorway. He nodded and continued emptying his locker. "I'm just cleaning out my locker, Anzai-sensei. And besides, my shirts need cleaning." He answered politely. The old coach eyed his player worriedly. "If you have a problem, you can always come to me." The old man said. A warm feeling filled Hanamichi's chest and he eventually fought down the urge to cry. "Arigatou, Anzai-sensei. I'll keep that in mind." He told him. Unsaid feelings were reflected in his eyes. The old man smiled at him before leaving.

Hanamichi stood watching his clean yet empty locker. He stared around the locker-room. He felt so familiar yet treated like a stranger by that room. He sighed.

"Don't cry Hanamichi…not here." He told himself. He stood and cast one last look inside the room he thought he shared with his teammates. He was a stranger to them…an individual not worth of recognition…a do'aho.

Takamiya was eating silently as he watched the sun set by Kasutomi Canal. The four of them had split up after a few hours of waiting for the redhead. "Poor bloke. I wonder where he is right now." He murmured.

"What are you doing here all by yourself?" somebody spoke from behind. Takamiya turned around and was the distant yet homey face of Hanamichi. "We split up. There's no one to make fun of so they decided to go home." The fat boy answered. "It's because I wasn't with you, right?" Hanamichi asked as he sat down beside his fat friend. "Uhuh. True." Takamiya answered. The gloom returned in Hanamichi's eyes.

"Be honest with me Takamiya, ok? Why do you guys enjoy making fun of me so much?" Hanamichi suddenly asked. Takamiya riveted his gaze from the redhead. The intensity of Hanamichi's gaze is too much for him that it scared him. "It's because you're so expressive and full of energy. You reactions can be both dumb and funny." The fat boy replied. Hanamichi's eyes clouded. 'I'm a stranger…an individual…a nobody…a do'aho…a joke.'

"Why are you so serious? Is it about Haruko? Don't worry…she's just one girl." Takamiya told him. Hanamichi's lips curved up into a sad smile. "You better indulge yourself in this Hanamichi. You'll never know, you night not meet him again." Hanamichi said. He sighed and stood up. He left the dumbstruck Takamiya alone.

Akagi Residence

"What's up with Haruko? I need her here to help." Akagi muttered as he faces the three knuckleheads of his teams, mainly Ryota, Mitsui and Rukawa. Hanamichi didn't show up. "She might be tired from school. Let her rest, Akagi." Kogure told his friend. "And the do'aho forgot that we have a session tonight. He's so gonna get it tomorrow." Ayako added. "What's up with him by the way?" she turned to face the three. "I have no idea." Ryota confessed. "He seemed to have fashioned himself after Rukawa." Mitsui added.

Haruko was curled up into a ball in her room, unable to sleep as she kept on replaying the scene that afternoon. _"It's ok, Akagi-san. I'm so sorry for wasting your time like this…"its ok, Akagi-san. I'm so sorry for wasting your time like this…"_

"Gomen nasai, Hanamichi. Gomen nasai." Haruko kept repeating these words all night.

Sakuragi Residence

"Kaa-san, are you sure you want to do this?"

"Koji, it's what the boy wants. He asked ever so politely if I could sell his things tomorrow in a garage sale. I even went with him to the richest jeweler in the district to finally sell their family heirloom." Fuchikawa-san told her son, Koji that evening.

"What! He sold the shishiten!" Koji screamed in outrage.

"But he didn't do anything with the money. He gave the half of it to me. He said that his debt is invaluable so it's the only thing he can offer as payment. I told him I don't need it but he insisted. The other half he took to his trust fund." The old woman answered.

"Kaa-san, I think its time to bring Hana-kun to a psychiatrist." Kohl said. He sipped some coffee to calm his nerves.

"Koji, you know how the boy hated the hospital…it would only bring back painful memories." The old woman insisted. Koji sighed and leaned back to catch a glimpse of Hanamichi's window. At this late hour…he's sure that the lonely redhead is in that room again.

_Meanwhile…_

A large figure curled up into a ball inside a dark room. Only the faint moonlight silhouetted the figure in the middle of the empty room. A faint voice can be heard murmuring in the dark.

"Hana…it hurts so much. I want to die…please help me Hana…"

"Michi…stop crying now…I'm here Michi…Hana is here…"

A/N: a cliffhanger! Aw….so heartbreaking….so you figured out how Hanamichi's coping? Nah! I'll keep you guessing then…next chapter is entitled "The Locked Room". Please review! Thanks!


	3. Sanctum

A/N: ok…Hanamichi's depressed. He emptied his house except for one room…the very same room that witnessed all his pains and joys as a child…the very same room where his "friend" comes to him and comforts him…the very same room he kept locked all the times with the shishiten. Please review!

"" are for dialogs and '' are for thoughts and texts in italics are for flashbacks and memories. Texts in ITALICS-bold are for Michi while Text in bold are for Hana

The 14th street was busy that early morning. Fuchikawa-san had set up the garage sale before first light and the early risers came to have a look. "Wow! It's a very nice table! I want to buy this one!" "How much is this pot?" "I want this pair of jeans."

The chaos attracted more costumers and one of them is a certain fox-eyed brunette. At first, the noise just woke him up from his usual stupor but the next thing he knew was he was inspecting some weird trinkets until he finally found a glass-encased wooden rose which is as big as his palm. It was held up by a chain. "How much is this?" Kaede asked. "Oh that's an antique. It's from France. It once belonged to a French woman named Hana." The saleslady said. "How much." Kaede insisted, getting annoyed with the stray explanation. "I'm sorry. It costs 2500 yen." The lady told him. "2500 yen!" Kaede asked in disbelief. He examined the artifact in his hand closely. Underneath it was a name engraved in gold. It says, "Hana Chautuex, 1963". He took his wallet and gave the lady 2500 yen. He attached the chain to the zipper of his bag. He didn't notice the hazy brown eyes staring at them from the room above.

**Shohoku High**

"So he didn't come to class?" Noma asked Yohei worriedly. "We came to his apartment this morning but Fuchikawa-san wouldn't let us see him. We thought he was to come today." Oukusu told them. Takamiya was unusually quiet. The last thing Hanamichi told him yesterday kept on bugging him. _"You better indulge yourself in this Hanamichi. You'll never know, you night not meet him again." _

"Ei fat boy! Are you ok?" Yohei asked Takamiya but the latter didn't answer. "Hey look! It's Haruko!" Noma broke the silence. The four of them turned to see Haruko walking towards them. Fuji was nowhere in sight. "We already know what happened." Matsui said.

"Where's Hanamichi-kun?" Haruko asked. She dared not to look at anyone of them. "He decided to play hooky again." Oukusu shrugged. "Let's go guys. We better go look for him." Yohei said without even recognizing Haruko presence. "Ano, Yohei-kun…" Haruko started but Yohei cut her off. "You've done enough damage to him. You better stay away from us now." He said the walked away. Haruko was in the verge of tears when the four of the disappeared.

**Sakuragi Residence**

A familiar redhead kept on scribbling on the floor. This room is his diary…his sanctuary…his paradise. He kept on humming a song as he continued writing on the floor.

"I will be here…if you feel like being quiet. When you need to speak your mind…I-I would…listen…" tears came falling down his cheeks. "**_Hana…I can't do this anymore…_" "Michi, don't let go…they're not worth it. She's not worth it." _"It hurts…it hurts so much." _"The pain will soon disappear Michi…I promise you."**

**Gym**

Akagi scanned the sight before him. The whole Shohoku team lined up except for the redhead.

"This is not right. Hanamichi is absent." Kogure murmured beside Akagi. "I think you better go look for him Akagi." Anzai-sensei suddenly announced. Everybody stared at the old man. "I mean, why? It's not such a big deal. He's been absent before." Mitsui said. 'I don't think it's good to give special attention to the do'aho. He might grow thick with it right?" Ryota added.

Anzai-sensei sighed. These young men don't understand how critical the situation is. "I saw him emptying his locker yesterday. I think there's something more to it than we know." Anzai-sensei told them.

"He's what!" Akagi asked in outrage. "Oh yeah Captain. He seemed a little off yesterday when we're cleaning." Ueksa butted in. "This is bad, captain. We better talk to him immediately." Ayako said worriedly.

Haruko came in running. "Hey, did I miss anything?" she asked in between gasps. "Sakuragi is missing." Mitsui filled her in. Haruko grew stiff. "Oh is he? Fuji's missing too." Matsui suddenly spoke up. The Sakuragi gundan appeared by the doorway. "So he' not here too." Yohei said gloomily. "I told you Mito! He seemed possessed by an alien when I talked to him yesterday." Takamiya cried in rage.

"What do you mean by that?" Ryota asked him. "Well, he's very depressed right now." Noma shrugged. "Depressed? Why?" Kogure prompted. "Ask her." Yohei turned to look at Haruko and the girl can't seem to look at him in the eye.

"What's happening Haruko? Did he tell you something?" Akagi asked his sister. "Ano…well…" Haruko stammered. "Go on, Haruko. They'll know eventually." Matsui encouraged her friend. "Eventually know what?" Mitsui asked. Rukawa stayed silent through the whole conversation.

"I mean…well…he…" Haruko was now wringing her hands.

"You were not so shy when to you told him that yesterday." Yohei commented bitterly.

"No what is the meaning of that tone?" Akagi turned to the short brunette.

"I told you, ask your sister." Yohei shot back.

"He proposed to me yesterday." Haruko suddenly blurted out. An eerie silence filled the gym.

"HE DID WHAT!" Akagi, Ryota, Mitsui and Ayako cried in unison.

"He proposed. Come on! Didn't you clean your ears this morning?" Oukusu snorted.

"And what did you say?" Akagi pressed in.

"I-I told that I'm not ready yet." Haruko stammered.

"Oh come on! That's a whole lot different from what you actually told him. We were there Haruko." Yohei snarled at her.

"And why are you up on her grill?" Ayako defended Haruko. That struck a nerve in Yohei's head.

"You're asking why I'm so up in her grill. You want to know why?" Yohei shot back, anger creeping in his voice. "Yo man, calm down." Noma told him.

"No, Noma. You really want to know why?" He challenged everyone in front of him. Haruko is in the verge of tears, again. "Certainly." Ryota backed Ayako. "Because that bitch you have for a sister told my best friend that she's in love with someone else and that might be the reason why Hanamichi snapped. Do you understand that? We don't even know if our friend is still alive because of that bitch you call your sister!" Yohei cried, letting all his frustrations out. Everybody was shifting glances from Yohei to Haruko who suddenly burst into tears.

"But I've got to be honest with him, Yohei." Haruko tried to reason.

"Yeah…be honest for all I care. You didn't even think how he's gonna take it, didn't you? You know what your problem is?" Yohei was not about to back out.

"And what is it!" Akagi snarled, furious that this boy called his sister a bitch.

"Your problem is that you don't realize that Hanamichi is just a human being. He's not a stone for crying out loud! Don't you think he's affected when you pick on him? When you call him names and stuff? You don't think that one day your insults will take its toll do you!" Yohei shot back.

Everybody was dumbstruck. No one was able to talk after Yohei had a roll on them. Only Haruko's sobs echoed inside the gym. "I'm so sorry….so sorry…" Haruko sobbed.

"He told me something that kept me bugging all day." Takamiya broke the silence. Every eye was on him. "He told you something and you didn't tell us!" Oukusu just exploded. "Shut up ok!" Noma glared at the blonde.

"What did he say?" Anzai-sensei asked calmly.

"He was so serious when I saw him yesterday. He—he asked me why we enjoy making fun of him so much." The fat boy started. "And?" Ryota prompted. "Well he told me to honest so I told him that we loved making fun of him because he is so expressive. Then I asked him why he looked to serious. I even told him that if the reason was Haruko then she's not worth it." Takamiya continued while eyeing the crying girl.

"So what did he say?" Kaede suddenly asked. Everybody was stunned to hear him speak. "He—he told me that I should indulge that Hanamichi because I may never know, that would be the last time I'll see that side of Hanamichi." Takamiya told them. A sudden twinge ran up Yohei's spine. "We better look for him." He told his friends. "Yeah. If we're too late, we might end up with a cold, dead Hanamichi." Noma added. Haruko's eyes widened in fear. The four boys turned around and started to walk out of the gym.

"Hey wait! We're coming with you!" Ryota and Mitsui snapped back into reality. "Ch! Suit yourselves." Yohei muttered. "You better follow them Akagi. If anything happens to that boy, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself." Anzai-sensei told them. It only seconds before they snapped back into reality. A minute later, the whole team was out in the streets of Kanagawa…looking for a certain redhead.

**Sakuragi Residence**

**_I don't want to be here…I don't like this place anymore_:** **then we'll leave this place you practically sold everything we have…including mom's last memento.**

**_But to where? _:** **I don't know where we'll settle permanently…but I know a place where we can feel love…**

**_Where? _: fix yourself…we're going to visit daddy today…**

**Somewhere in Kanagawa**

Akagi, Kogure, Ayako, Mitsui, Ryota, Rukawa and Haruko met up. "I don't know where to look next. We've searched the whole damned district but no do'aho in sight." Mitsui complained while trying to catch his breath. "Stop calling him do'aho Mitsui. The person isn't even here to defend himself." Kogure snapped at the ex-gangster. "Well, do you have any ideas?" Mitsui challenged him.

"Cut that out! I don't need you two arguing at this very moment." Akagi told them off. "Well, did anyone tried to go to his house?" Ayako asked. A flashbulb sparked. "Good idea Ayako. Let's go!" Akagi said enthusiastically. "Um Akagi, we have a problem…." Kogure murmured. "What is it? Come on! Ayako already found a solution." Akagi asked him impatiently. "Well, do you know where Sakuragi lives?" Ryota asked his captain. 'Oh yeah…I forgot…' Akagi's shoulders slumped. "I'm so sorry, Onii-chan." Haruko whispered. "It's ok. He's gonna be ok." Akagi assured his sister. He knows that she's in a fragile emotional space right now.

"I know where he lives." Somebody spoke up. Everybody stared at that certain person. "Come on. Anzai-sensei is counting on us." Kaede said before he sped up. "Nice timing to have Rukawa's brain working." Ryota murmured to Mitsui.

**Sakuragi Residence**

"Yohei, Fuchi-baa-chan already told us he's not there." Oukusu said. "Do you really believe her, Oukusu? I'll bet 500 yen that she's trying to cover up for Hanamichi." Yohei told them. They were standing outside Hanamichi's apartment. A few seconds passed and Akagi and the others arrived.

"What are you doing here?" Yohei asked them. "We're looking for our teammate." Kogure said with an encouraging smile. "Ch! I think it's too late for you to say that." The short brunette snorted. "I'm telling you Yohei…one more smart remark like that and I'll rip your head off." Mitsui warned him. "Oh you and what army?" The younger boy challenged. "Shut up you two!" Akagi snarled at them.

An old lady went out of the adjacent unit. She was shocked to see so many people outside Hana-kun's house. "I already told you Mito-kun. Hana-kun is not in there." The old lady insisted. "Can't we just see for ourselves, Fuchi-baa-chan?" Yohei asked. Instead of answering the young man's question, Fuchikawa-san's eyes were plastered on Rukawa.

"Have I seen you before?" she asked the pale boy. "I bought something from your garage sale this morning." Kaede answered. Fuchikawa-san's eyes widened. "Oh! So you were that young man who bought the glass-encased wooden rose." The old lady said. The Sakuragi gundan gasped. Yohei was the quickest to give a remark.

"You bought the glassed Hana?" he asked in disbelief. "The what?" Ryota asked again. "The glass-encased rose once belonged to Hanamichi's French mother. It was the only remembrance she left him before she ran away or returned to France." Yohei told them. Kaede took something from his pocket and showed it to them. The glass glistened under faint rays of the setting sun.

"Ok fine you can come in but it's pretty useless. We emptied the house yesterday and practically sold everything in the garage sale." The old woman fumbled in her pockets for the keys. "Everything?" Takamiya asked worriedly. "Well not exactly everything. I saw him burn his jerseys last night. That boy…he thought we were already asleep. I managed to salvage his white jersey but the red ones are hopeless." The old woman said.

"He burned his jerseys!" Ayako murmured in outrage. "He's a goner." Ryota murmured when he saw Akagi's expression. 'That idiot! I know he has a grudge against the team but burning the jerseys! That's practically an insult!' Akagi raged silently. Fuchikawa-san opened the door. They came inside a clean yet empty apartment.

"He sold even his furniture? How's he going to sleep?" Ayako asked in disbelief while staring around the spacious room.

"Well, there's one room upstairs that we didn't empty. That's probably where he's sleeping. But I don't think you can see it. He kept it padlocked ever since his father died." The old lady said sadly.

"You mean you didn't touch the shishiten room?" Noma asked. "Well yes, I mean…he said that's all he needed to survive." The old woman told them. "Let's go upstairs." Yohei suddenly said. He bolted up the stairs, leaving Fuchikawa-san crying after him. "He won't like it if you go in there, Mito-kun!" the old lady yelled. "Let's go." Akagi beckoned his companions and followed the gundan upstairs.

"Kids these days…" Fuchikawa-san murmured.

**Cemetery**

The wind blew gently over the overgrown weeds. A tall redhead kneeled in front of an old tombstone…

**_Hello daddy…how are you_: Michi…you know very well that he can't talk.**

**_But we came here to talk to daddy, right Hana_: We'll do the talking…he'll be listening.**

**Sakuragi Residence**

Akagi and the others found the gundan motionless in front of an opened door. It was Oukusu who started to back away.

"What it is? Is he in there?" Akagi demanded as they walked towards them. The four of them were still speechless.

"Come on…you're freaking us out." Mitsui added. The fear in their eyes is really getting into his nerves. "What's in there?" Ryota asked, trying to peek past Noma. Akagi grew impatient so he softly pushed Yohei aside.

"Well?" Kogure asked his friend. "What the hell!" Akagi blurted out. The rest became more intrigued so they elbowed their way to see the room. Their eyes widened with what they saw.

Tears started falling down Yohei's face, so as Ayako's. The room was filled with writings in two different colors but what shocked them most in the horrible inscription that looked like blood on the window.

"I'M ONLY HUMAN…I'M NOT A STONE!"

A/N: ok….you might have guessed that Hanamichi turned into a complete nut overnight. Well, it can happen. Next chapter is entitled "Writings on the Wall"…you'll get to know who Hanamichi's little friends is.


	4. one cry of two hearts

A/N: Tehee! Yohei and the others finally had the chance to enter Hanamichi's secret haven but the truth devastated them all… for inside the room Hanamichi poured out his feelings. They finally met Hana…Hanamichi's second personality. Yohei was thunderstruck upon learning that he had not been a good best friend to Hanamichi. Akagi was confounded…Kaede became sad… what could've Hanamichi written that made them feel like this? Well, find out! Please review after you read….thanks!

"" are for dialogs and '' are for thoughts and texts in italics are for flashbacks and memories. **_Texts in italics-bold are for Michi _**while **Text in bold are for Hana**

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"What is this place?" Ryota croaked, unable to control the sudden emotions that came flooding inside him. "Hanamichi is…" Oukusu muttered. "This is what he's been hiding from us all these years." Yohei sobbed. "Kami-sama!" Haruko cried upon seeing the contents of the room. They slowly went inside, as if they're treading upon fragile grounds.

There was a worn out teddy bear at the corner of the room. Two pens lay on the floor beside a recorder. Every inch of the wall was full of written conversation. The first lines were in black while the next ones were in red. A big drawing of a basketball jersey with the no.10 was plastered on the wall but it was mercilessly ripped. The floor was vandalized too but the writings are arranged in the form of a poem.

"What on earth happened to this place?" Kogure choked out as he tried to suppress a cry. "This once belonged to Hanamichi's parents when they were still together. Hanamichi told me that his father joined him in his room after his mother left them." Yohei told them while tracing the texts written in blood.

Kaede wandered inside the room and picked up the recorder. "Don't touch that!" Noma yelled at him but Kaede ignored him. He pushed the rewind button. Everybody's eyes were on him. When the tape finished rewinding, he pushed the play button. They waited until they heard a voice of an adult.

"_Hana-kun, daddy will be staying in your room from now on ok?" "Why?" _a little boy asked._ "Because daddy wants to be with his baby. And besides, daddy will only get lonely if he sleeps in that room alone…not without you mama." "Why did she leave?" "I don't know Tucker. Maybe she misses France so much" " she missed France so much? Why can't we come with her?" "Because Mama wants to go home alone…and besides, it's hard to travel with a little boy your age." "Daddy, did mama love us?" "Yes she did…why ask such a thing Hana-kun?" "Because if she loves us, she won't leave. But she left…she-she left daddy…" _sobs can be heard from the little boy. "_Oh don't cry Hana-kun. Daddy's still here. Daddy won't leave you like mama did. Daddy will stay with your forever." "Pr-promise?" "I promise…cross my heart." "I won't leave you too daddy." "I know Hana-kun. I know. Now daddy wants you to sleep ok?" "But I-I can't. I'm scared of the Bogey Man!" "Hahaha! Don't worry Tucker. Daddy will protect you from the Bogey Man." "O-ok." "Go to sleep now." "Daddy?" "Hmmm?" "I love you!" "Haha! I love you too, Hana-kun. Daddy will always love you…"_ the tape stopped.

Haruko slumped down and sobbed even harder. The cry the Kogure was suppressing escaped. Even Mitsui, Akagi and Ryota have tears flowing down their faces. Only Rukawa remained stoic. "Michikawa lived his life for the sake of his son. I saw him suffered from Hana's departure but he remained strong for Hanamichi's sake." Fuchikawa-san suddenly spoke. "But why did she leave?" Ayako dared to ask. Fuchikawa-san sighed.

"The Sakuragi's are one of the richest families in Miyagi. But Michikawa dishonored the family by getting Hana pregnant when he was already betrothed to another woman. I guess they did love each other. But when Michikawa's father found out, they eloped and that lead to the disownment of Michikawa as the heir of the Sakuragi family. They got married and lived here. Things were going smoothly at first but Hana got frustrated with their lifestyle. Love alone cannot withstand against poverty. She was unable to bear the hardships they are facing especially when Hanamichi was born so she left. She hadn't been in contact ever since." Fuchikawa-san explained.

"Oh my god…" Ayako muttered. "Since then the two of them depended on each other. It was alright then but everything changed when Michikawa died from a heart attack. The playful and brash Hana-kun we knew was gone and he locked himself in this room more often." The old woman added. Kogure went towards the left side of the wall and stared at the writings.

"Look at this one. It seemed like he's talking to another person." Kogure murmured. "What are you talking about Kogure?" Akagi asked while wiping his tears. "Look at it this way. Those written in red inked are replies to the ones written in black. Look, there are names here." Kogure beckoned them to move closer. He pointed at the black inked texts. "The one who wrote in black ink is named Hana." Kogure explained. His hand traveled to the texts in red. "And the one who wrote in red ink is named Michi." He added. "Put the two names together and you've got Hanamichi." Takamiya murmured. "Oh shit!" Yohei gasped. "What?" Mitsui looked at him. "These texts represent the two sides of Hanamichi. I think he developed a dual personality to cope with his depression." Yohei told them. "You're saying that he's sick?" Ayako asked him in disbelief. "Well, it could happen. He's not talking to us with his problems so he's probably letting it out through his second personality." Kogure supported Yohei's assumptions. They started reading…

**Hey, stop crying.: _Who are you?_**

**My name is Hana. : _Hana? But that's my name. I'm Hanamichi._**

**I'm you. You're me. We're one and the same. From now on, you're name inside this room is Michi. :_ What? I don't understand you. Where did you come from?_ **

**Just think of me as a twin brother but I only exist in this room. I can't get out. : _Why? Are you stuck or something?_**

**Well kinda…if I go out, then you'll be stuck. :_ I don't get it. You're confusing me. Are you a ghost?_**

**No I'm not a ghost. I'm just someone who wants to help you. : _Really? Do you know why I'm crying?_**

**Yes, I know. Daddy died…: _it's my entire fault. If I haven't beaten up those guys, I could've brought daddy to the hospital in time._**

**It's not your fault…it's nobody's fault. It's his time to go.: _But he promised he'll stay. He promised me…_**

**He promised US…remember that. : _Ok, us. He lied. He broke his promise…_**

**Well, you don't expect him to live forever, right:_ Um…well…_**

**Everybody dies Michi. You will, in the future. : _But he promised…_**

**Promises are made to be broken, Michi. Daddy's too tired to go on. Let him rest. :_ But what about me? I mean…us?_**

**We'll get by…we still have each other…and Fuchi-baa-chan and Koji-nii-chan.: _are you sure? _**

**I'm sure…don't worry. Everything will be fine.:_ I'm scared…_**

**Don't be. It'll help me not to get scared too, you know. : _O-ok…I won't get scared so that you won't get scared too._**

**Ok…we have an understanding. Just remember…I'm always here. : _Dad said that too. He told us that he will always be here, but he's not._**

**Well I'm different. I'll stay as long as you want me to. My existence solely depends on you Michi. : _ok Hana. From now on, you'll stay will me…forever! _**

"So that when it started, when Michi-jii-san died." Takamiya sighed. "So Hanamichi patronized this Hana ever since. Why didn't you guys notice it from the start?" Mitsui asked Yohei. "Hanamichi's good in hiding what he really feels. He lived by the motto of his father that if you have a problem at home, you leave it at home." Yohei explained. Kogure traced another set of conversation. "Hey, look at this one." Kogure nudged at them. They read the new set of conversation.

**_I got dumped again…for the fiftieth time in my life._ : Oh don't worry…the world is full of women to love. Don't let you're world come crumbling down just because of one girl. **

**_She dumped me for some basketball hunk…what's up with basketball anyway? _: I don't know…**

**_It seems like everyone who's in it are so cool…damn it!_ : don't curse Hanamichi. Your world doesn't stop there.**

**_O-ok…thanks Hana…. You know, you're a whole lot better than the gundan._ : Really? Why? Did they celebrate your 50th rejection?**

**_H-hai. I don't understand why they treat me like that._ : Well, some friendships are like that. Well, at least you're the life of the group.**

**_b-but it hurts sometimes…they just don't realize that I get hurt._ : Well, I think you better talk to them, Michi. It's not proper for you to let this continue.**

**_B-but I'm scared to confront them…they might desert me._ : take your time Michi…**

"Well, we're not that only ones hurting him." Mitsui snapped at Yohei. The gundan looked devastated. "You have done your share of the damage. You can't put the blame entirely on us." Akagi added. "Stop it ok! We know…we already know. So stop rubbing it in on us!" Yohei shot back. "Hush! There's a continuation." Ayako told them. Their attention returned to the wall.

**Well Michi, you seem a happy today. : _Well, it's because I met someone._**

**Oh really? Who's she: _Her name's Akagi Haruko…Hana, she's so cute!_**

**Yeah right…like you don't remember those other "cute girls" who broke your heart Michi. : _Well not this one! She's so friendly, and nice!_**

**Be careful Michi…I wonder why you always choose these "cute girls" than those young sophisticated women who are down-right crazy about you. : _Aw come on Hana! They're way above me…_**

**Fine…but I'd prefer Sadotsu than this Haruko…at least she can stand on her own : _don't worry Hana…Michi is sure about this now!_**

"So he wrote this after he met Haruko." Ayako murmured while eyeing the occasionally sobbing girl. Haruko looked up and more tears spilled from her eyes. "Now look at this…" Ryota pointed at the continuation.

**_You're right Hana…she did broke my heart._ : What? So soon? How?**

**_She's likes this fellow, Rukawa…that bastard! I'm gonna kill him!_ : Now, now Michi calm yourself. By the looks of it, she's not worth three to four decades in maximum security. **

**_b-but it hurts…s-she's the 51st to dump me. _: Well, what did she say?**

**_Ano…she didn't say anything. She's just mad at me right now for beating that bastard._ : You beat him! Michi, you promised to minimize the violence.**

**_But I can't help it!_ : Fine…just don't do it again, ok?**

**_Promise…:_ good.**

"That's when I really bled to death because of his head butt." Kaede murmured. He eyed Haruko in disgust. "Go on…" Mitsui urged them.

**_I sucked at basketball!_ : What did you say? Why? Did you try doing it?**

**_Well, I got challenged by this gorilla who turned out to be Haruko's brother…I was the laughing stock of the school. _: I think you better let me out sometime so I could give them a piece of our mind.**

**_No…h-he only agreed, though reluctantly, to let me join the team. I'm doing this for Haruko. _: Haruko again! For heaven's sake Michi! You've been crushed, stepped on and trashed by this bitch and you still like her!**

**_Hey! Don't call her that! She's nice offering her help to make me a full-grown basketball man!_ : Michi, I don't want to tell you this again…she'll just break your heart…they all did. Why risk hurting again?**

**_But I want to play basketball! Fine…it won't be solely for her but for me too. I want to prove to them that I can be more than a punk._ : do you really want this?**

**_Yes! I'm happy where I am now, Hana. Please be happy for me…please. _: Ok…I'll let you lead us on. Just don't forget that if anything bad happens, I'll always be here, ok?**

**_Thanks Hana! You're the best!_ : I know….I'm the tensai.**

**_Tensai…I like that name…_: good…just don't abuse it ok? **

**_Hana…:_ Yes?**

**_Thanks…:_ it's ok…that's my job, right?**

"He seemed so enthusiastic back then." Kogure murmured. "Then we started ganging up on him." Ayako muttered. "We're not ganging up on him." Akagi said defensively. "Oh yes we did Akagi…all of us did. The only person who has the right to say that he didn't is Anzai-sensei. He looked after us all the time…especially Hanamichi." Kogure retorted. "Kogure…" Mitsui murmured. "It came to me one afternoon…we've been cruel to the boy…all of us, even you, Haruko. I saw you hitting him in the head Ayako, calling him names and you too, Mitsui, Ryota and especially you, Rukawa. We all did something to contribute to why Hanamichi turned out this way." Kogure continued. In his anger he punched the wall. "Argh! How could I've been so blind! I should've stopped you guys!" Kogure cried while continue hitting the wall. Mitsui rushed to stop the bespectacled boy. "Cut that out Kogure! You have no fault!" Mitsui tried to comfort him but it only fired Kogure up.

"Yes I have! I've seen everything Hanamichi had gone through…I've seen every bit of frustration, struggle and hardship and most of them came from us but I didn't do anything for it to stop! I could've put an end to it but I didn't! I just let it happen again and again!" Kogure yelled.

"At least he doesn't hate you that much…" Somebody spoke up. They all turned to see where that came from. It was Kaede who spoke. "What?" Oukusu asked. Kaede walked towards the adjacent wall filled with a new batch of writings. "It's in here…he hates my gut." Kaede murmured. 'Why? What did I do for you to hate me so much?' he added in his head. They all shifted to Kaede's side and started reading.

**Why so sad, Michi: _I failed…._**

**Failed what: _I failed the team…I've been kicked out of the game for the sixth time now._**

**Michi, don't be sad…at least you tried. : _I'm the laughing stock again…they think of me as a joke._**

**Seriously Michi…you need to let me out so that they would realize that they've been doing you wrong: _I have a new nickname now…_**

**Huh? What: _I said I have a new nickname now…they call me do'aho._**

**Those bastards! I swear Michi, if I ever got the chance to get out…I'll…argh: _don't be mad Hana…I deserved it…_**

**Deserved it? No one in this world deserves to be insulted like that Michi! Who do they think they are: _Rukawa became the star once again…he always does._**

**Michi…: _I mean, first he stole Haruko from me, now they're comparing me to him like an old, battered wooden sandals to a brand-new rubber shoes. I just couldn't take it…. It hurts so much!_**

**Don't take it like that Michi. Think of it as a motivation to be better…sure he's good but you've got your own skills to brag. I bet he couldn't get as much rebounds as you can. : _True! I was almost named at the King of Rebounds today…I really need to break the record to I could have something to slap on their faces._**

**Michi…vengeance is not good. : _Well, they started it…especially Rukawa! That stupid Kitsune._**

**Talk to me again when you're not in the killing mood ok: _…Michi…matte!_**

…**: _che! Didn't know you're the touchy one_**

"You're right. He hates your gut." Ryota agreed with him. Ayako slapped his head. "Do you think that's funny?" she roared at him. "Look at this." Akagi nudged them.

**_We lost…._: Michi…I've been telling you ever since we got home…it is not your fault.**

**_But I passed the ball to the wrong guy…we lost…:_ you didn't see him clearly. You thought he was Akagi-sempai. They can't blame you for that.**

**_I've let them down…Gori, Megane-kun, Ryonchin, Mitsui, Anzai-sensei, Haruko and especially Rukawa…:_ stop it now Michi. IT-IS-NOT-YOUR-FAULT!**

**_But it was…you're just making me feel good. I can't face them now…especially Rukawa. _: What's up with this Rukawa anyway? Why are you so soft on him now?**

**_He-he collapse a few minutes before the game ended…he gave it his all…and I wasted it. _: stop it Michi…please stop it…**

**_I'm a good for nothing punk who knows nothing about basketball…:_ Michi…**

**_Gomen nasai minna-san. Gomen nasai Haruko….gomen nasai, Rukawa._ : Michi…**

…**: are you still there Michi?**

… **: …  
**

"This is about the game last week." Takamiya murmured. Everybody stared at Rukawa. "There…he doesn't hate you that much. He valued you're sacrifice." Ayako gave Rukawa a pat on the back. "I didn't know…" Kaede murmured. Silence filled the room…

* * *

A/N: there! Hanamichi had a dual personality! Hahahahahahahahahahha! Please review! 


	5. and he was gone

A/N: As they unravel the mysteries behind the smiles of Hanamichi, the latter was trap in a world of grief, confusion, repression and anger. As every word they read slice through their hearts, the missing will be as it is…missing. His one final entry will be the last straw. Will they be able to get to him before it's too late?

Disclaimer: I don't own the poem here…copied it from an episode of As Told By Ginger™. I made one myself but I think the one from the show was better. I modified it a little to suit the situation.

"" are for dialogs and '' are for thoughts and texts in italics are for flashbacks and memories. **_Texts in italics-bold are for Michi _**while **Text in bold are for Hana**

The crimson rays of the fading sun punctuate every step he makes. It seems like he's telling a story with every fragile breath he take, with every move he creates. There's nothing brash about him anymore…for Michi decided to rest forever.

'I'll take over from now on Michi. Take your time to heal your wounds.' He murmured silently as he passed by the familiar places he and his alter ego used to go. He did not notice a certain someone who's lurking by an alleyway, eyes dark and vigilant, watching his every move.

"Sakuragi-kun!"

Someone called out, breaking his reverie. He turned around only to see Fuji's worried face. Hanamichi smiled sadly at the girl.

"Konbanwa, Fuji-san. What brings you to this part of the town?" he asked politely.

Fuji paled at the tone of his voice. 'This is not Sakuragi-kun. This is so not him.' She thought. "Um...well you didn't show up at practice today so we got really worried." The girl murmured as blush crept up her cheeks.

Hanamichi sighed. "Oh that… well I guess I just needed some time off." He replied.

"But you will play again right? It's not true what Anzai-sensei said that you emptied your locker yesterday right? You WILL be back right?" the girl fired her questions one after the other.

"Whoa! Slow down Fuji-san! What are you talking about?"

Fuji took a deep breath and held a shaking hand towards the redhead. "If you need someone to talk to… I'm here."

Hanamichi blinked in surprise at her statement. Never in his whole life he expected to be treated like this by someone he could hardly call a friend, much more from a girl.

" Ano…" Hanamichi muttered but Fuji already grabbed his hand.

"I'll be with you."

**Sakuragi's residence**

"Kami-sama! How could I do this to him!" Haruko sobbed. It seemed like all of Hanamichi's repressed emotions broke out because of her. Her rejection was the last straw. She realized that she is the reason the redhead finally snapped.

"Don't blame yourself Haruko. It's not all your fault." Ayako comforted the girl.

"N-no…no…I was the reason why he snapped. Oh god…" the girl continued to rapt.

Kaede was not paying attention to what was happening with the rest of the group. He sat down quietly and took the worn-out teddy bear from the corner and hugged it. 'Will you be too far away for me to reach Hanamichi? Will you let me heal your wounds? I want to….oh God you don't know how much I want to.' He took out the keychain that he bought earlier and clutched it close to his heart. "Hana…michi…" he murmured softly as he buried his head into the teddy bear.

"The boy needs medical care…" Akagi murmured under his breath. He clenched his fists so hard that his nails dug deep into his palm. Kogure's snapped up to look at his friend.

"What did you say?"

Akagi spun around to face the old lady, his face grim with anger. "That boy, Hanamichi, needs medical attention! Why the hell did you not do something about this right from the start?" he bellowed. The old woman just took a deep breath.

"Akagi! How dare you talk to her like that?" Yohei yelled at the third year.

"Gori…." The rest of the gundan gritted their teeth in anger.

"Oi Akagi! What the fuck are you trying to do now, letting your anger out on an old woman!" Mitsui spat. He advanced on Akagi, clutched his shirt and shook him violently.

"You guys…this is not the time for this." Ayako cried.

"The boy hates the hospital." The old woman announced. This got the attention of everyone, even Rukawa. Fuchikawa-san sighed once more and entered the room.

"His father died from heart attack… could've been saved but Hana-kun wasn't able to bring him to the hospital in time. How would you feel after everyone in that place assured you that everything will be fine, that he'll live through the ordeal then end up with a dead man in your arms? Would you still want to go back to such place that gave you nothing but false assurances?" she looked up to stare deep into Akagi's eyes.

Silence…a very long silence filled the room, as if noting an unknown understatement about the truth that they had unmasked.

**In an empty park somewhere near Sakuragi's house**

They've been quiet for quite sometime now, sited side by side in the swing. Hanamichi kept his eyes on the ground while Fuji swung gently in the amicable silence.

"You know…sometimes it's nice to know that somebody cared, despite how much I tried to convince myself that it's ok that no one did." Hanamichi suddenly spoke up. Fuji smiled.

"Well you should get used to the idea now. That's not hard to do isn't it?" the girl asked him.

Hanamichi sighed deeply. "No…it's not hard at all but I don't have anything left for me to go on living here, Fuji-san."

The girl turned only to meet his gloomy eyes. Those eyes that used to radiate youth were now void…cold. She reached out to touch his shoulders. "What are you trying to say Sakuragi-kun?"

"Long story short, I'll be leaving Kanagawa tomorrow. Maybe make a little stop-over at Miyagi to pay my dear relatives a visit…then probably vanish into thin air." Hanamichi replied.

"But what about your life?" she asked.

"I do not have a life Fuji-san…" Hanamichi said.

There was a soft rustle on the bushes as a dark shadow emerged behind them.

"He's quite correct little miss. He will not have a life… after tonight."

The two of them gasped and stumbled off the swings in a tangle of limbs. They saw Ryou, one of the gangsters who tried to destroy the basketball club a few months back, stepping into the pale light with a knife in his hand.

"You know... you've been quite a pest lately Sakuragi-kun." His small eyes glinted in malice.

Hanamichi snapped back into reality and cried. "Run Fuji-san! Get out of here!"

Fuji was unable to recover from her shock. Her eyes grew wide as she stared in horror at Ryou's knife.

"I SAID RUN!" Hanamichi screamed and tried to push her up on her feet.

"Aww got yourself a little girlfriend, Hana-kun?" Ryou taunted as he advanced on them.

Hanamichi felt his breath caught up in his throat when Ryou held the knife just above them. Without thinking twice, he draped his body over Fuji and hugged her protectively just as Ryou's hand made its deadly descent upon them.

"SAKURAGI-KUNNNNNN!"

**Sakuragi's residence**

Kaede's attention was shifted to the writings on the floor. It was the most recent entry since it was dated today. He shifted into a prone position as he began to read.

_And He Was Gone_

_He chose to walk alone,_

_Though others wondered why._

_Refused to look before him,_

_Kept eyes cast upwards,_

_Towards the sky._

_He didn't have companions._

_No need for earthly things._

_Only wanted freedom,_

_From what he felt were puppet strings._

_He longed to be a bird._

_That he might fly away._

_He pitied every blade of grass _

_For planted they would stay._

_He longed to be a flame,_

_That brightly danced alone._

_Felt jealous of the steam_

_That made the air its only home._

_Some say he wished too hard._

_Some say he wished too long._

_But we awoke one autumn day_

_To find that he was gone._

_The trees, they say, stood witness._

_The sky refused to tell. _

_But someone who had seen it_

_Said the story played out well._

_He spread his arms out wide,_

_Breathed in the break of dawn._

_He just let go of all he held…_

_And then… he was gone._

More tears well up in Kaede's beautiful eyes as every word pierce though his heart. He kept tracing and re-tracing the redhead's handwriting with fingers when he heard a faint sound of an ambulance siren. It was then he realized that no one among them tried to speak after Akagi's outburst.

'_And he was gone…'_ he ran the thought in his head when he suddenly felt a strong tug at his heart. His head snapped up to scan the other's faces to see signs of worry on their faces. The sound of the siren seemed to be fading into the night. 'No…' his breath caught up in his throat.

He suddenly stumbled to get on his feet regardless of the lightheadedness that came over him, surprising everyone.

"What happened to you?" Noma asked.

"We have to find him now." The fox-eyed brunette murmured while staring back at their startled expressions.

"Excuse me?" Akagi asked.

"WE HAVE TO GE THE FUCK OUT OF HERE AND FIND HANAMICHI NOW!"

A/N: oh yeah…mwahahahahahahaha! I'm such a cruel, cruel person. There you have it….another cliffie….and don't worry, I don't mind if you get a personal copy of this fic. I won't sue. I'm glad I tweaked a heart or two with this story. I'm nearing the end. Oh yeah….to the ones asking for the RuHana (was there any?), there you have it. evil grin

Ok let me just explain the concept of dual personality. Basically, studies have shown that once the alter ego or the second personality takes over the weaker one, it gains total domination of the body. This gives us the idea of having the suppressed personality to be stuck in a void or something. For people with conflicts with their alter egos, it's usually a power struggle all the time; take the concept of Darwin's evolution theory for example. It's survival of the fittest. Unlike what we have in the story, there is a harmonious relationship between the two personalities. It is very similar to having an imaginary friend. Still confused? Not my problem anymore ne? Heheheheheheheheh!


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